>> Sunday, May 11, 2003
Over the past few months, My life has changed so much. I quit my job, I moved to New York, my sister passed away, I eloped and I found out I was pregnant all in a month!
Living in a one room hotel room, my belly growing bigger, my family angry with me for leaving them at such a tragic time I can't help but think did I make the right choice? My mom blames me for my sisters death. Like if I didn't leave she never would of died and would of beaten the cancer that was eating away her body. I know she is just hurt and sad but I'm hurt and I'm sad and I'm angry at her for using me as her scapegoat.
I love my husband and I love this little person growing inside of me. Life is hard and our path is going to be very bumpy for a while but I really can't say I have any regrets. I'm getting to know my new family and they are excited about the baby.
I miss my sister terribly but all I can think of is she left me this special little person. Thanksgiving is coming soon, then Christmas. My first Christmas without my family, with out my sister but I know Chris is here with me, loving me.