Chrstimas 2003

>> Thursday, December 25, 2003

It is Christmas and I can't hide my depression. I put on a smile for Chris and his family but I'm crying on the inside. No money, no presents, no family.

Smiling despite my splotchy face from crying

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Second ultrasound

>> Thursday, September 25, 2003

It's a girl! We had our second ultrasound today and she was more then willing to show off! She is looking great and our due date is confirmed for Feb 11th.

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Ultrasound-13 weeks

>> Tuesday, August 26, 2003

We went to the ER this morning because I was up all night with bad morning sickness. Chris was scared I was getting dehydrated and he was right. When we were there, they gave me my first ultrasound. Everything was ok, a couple of bags of saline I was able to go home. The baby looks great.

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A new life

>> Sunday, May 11, 2003

Over the past few months, My life has changed so much. I quit my job, I moved to New York, my sister passed away, I eloped and I found out I was pregnant all in a month!

Living in a one room hotel room, my belly growing bigger, my family angry with me for leaving them at such a tragic time I can't help but think did I make the right choice? My mom blames me for my sisters death. Like if I didn't leave she never would of died and would of beaten the cancer that was eating away her body. I know she is just hurt and sad but I'm hurt and I'm sad and I'm angry at her for using me as her scapegoat.

I love my husband and I love this little person growing inside of me. Life is hard and our path is going to be very bumpy for a while but I really can't say I have any regrets. I'm getting to know my new family and they are excited about the baby.

I miss my sister terribly but all I can think of is she left me this special little person. Thanksgiving is coming soon, then Christmas. My first Christmas without my family, with out my sister but I know Chris is here with me, loving me.


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